Rockets ideas to contemplate while waiting on the NBA Draft

Here are some truly terrible Rockets ideas/takes/proposals/speculations to help get you through the time until the draft.

(If you take this seriously, you only have yourself to blame.)

Is It Time To Cut Jalen Green?

Some might say Jalen Green was the #2 pick in a loaded NBA draft. Some might say he’s currently only 20 years old, with explosive athleticism, a feel for scoring. He finished his rookie season exceptionally, and has a bright future.

Others might point to actual facts. He wasn’t anywhere near as awesome as Herb Jones, and odds are, he’ll never be named Herb Jones, so he’ll never BE Herb Jones. Just face it.

Green averaged 17.3pts, 3.5 rbs, 2.6 ast per game. Are those superstar numbers? Are those the All-NBA numbers one expects from a high pick? I think not. His true shooting percentage was only 55%. You don’t even want to know about other advanced metrics.

The Rockets were about as far as it was possible to be from the playoffs. Is that leadership? Is that ringz? No.

It’s time to cut bait.

Is Christian Wood to Blame For High Gasoline Prices?

Before Christian Wood joined the Rockets, gasoline was priced, on average, at $2.60 per gallon in the US. Now? $5. Almost double. Houston is the Hollywood of the petrochemical industry, and before Christian Wood got to Houston, gasoline was incredibly cheap, especially when adjusting for inflation. Now? It’s pretty pricey. Coincidence? Or is it Christian Wood’s fault?

US domestic oil production is at an all time high, but Christian Wood is still in Houston. What other conclusion can be drawn?

We already know the Rockets would have been a #1 playoff seed without him, and that he’s the source of everything bad about the team, so is it really a stretch to blame him for high gas prices?

Jae’Sean Tate Refuses to Grow

There’s a lot to like about Jae’Sean Tate. He came to the Rockets practically free. He’s a constant source of energy and enthusiasm. He plays good individual defense, rebounds well, and can score inside. He’s given it his all at power forward. There’s just one problem. He’s not that tall for a frontcourt player.

Tate was listed at 6’4” when he came to the Rockets in the 2020 season. Since then he has refused to grow. Despite clear Rockets needs at power forward, he’s still 6’4”. He’s stalled out at that height, and given his age, and what we’ve seen so far, it’s probably reasonable to expect that he’s not going to grow taller anytime soon.

Stephen Silas – is the “ph” too fancy for Houston?

Who does Stephen Silas think he is? Is he too good for the letter “v”? Is he just too fancy and precious, just like Stephen Curry? What’s wrong with being Steven? What are we supposed to call him, “Stephe”? How do you even say that? What’s next, Istvan?

Some might argue that it’s the name his parent gave him, and it’s a perfectly fine name with a long history, and is the original spelling. I’d say, wrong. How can we expect grit, grind, getting uniforms dirty, or floor burns from a “Stephen”, as opposed to a “Steve”? Let’s face it, Houston is a blue collar town that likes one syllable male names, in the great American tradition.

When Will The Rockets Extend John Wall?

John Wall is the highest paid player on the Rockets. He was chosen 1-1 in the 2009 NBA draft. He’s experienced. He’s been to the playoffs.

Eric Gordon has also been to the playoffs, but he’s older, and was picked 7th, so later than Wall, and he’s paid a lot less than John Wall. Therefore, John Wall is the best player on the team.

As it stands now, John Wall’s contract will expire at the end of this season. So far there are no, zero, zilch rumors of the Rockets making any sort of move to lock up The Golden Years of John Wall. It’s a slap in the face to veteran leadership is what it is.

The Rockets traded RUSSELL WESTBROOK to get John Wall! And now, they’re not going to re-sign him? Preposterous.

Are Rockets even cool anymore?

Do people still think rockets are awesome? The moon landings were, like, 50 years ago. Sure, tons of money has been spent to put billionaires wearing too big cowboy hats into space with phallic substitutes private spacecraft, and there have been helicopters on Mars, and incredible space telescopes, but maybe, just maybe, the time of the rocket is past? Space is a lot less exclusive these days. Richard Branson wants to sell tickets, so that tells you something.

Perhaps we should learn a lesson from a team that took its mascot from a movie about giant fake dinosaurs, and has been living it down since (despite the grim persistence of said movies)?

What do people really love now? What do they devote their waking hours, and their attention, and love, to?

Smartphones.

Houston Smartphones. Think about it. Lot of sponsorship opportunities there. Everyone spends hours looking at smartphones, so when they think basketball, what will they think? Smartphones. When was the last time NASA paid for an ad?

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